Dealing with Insanity
by Tsubasa Kya
Summary: Just how many ways can you kill Sesshoumaru? Well, Kagome intends to find out. Don't read if you don't like character bashing of all characters. This story has absolutely no point other than killing my favorite suspects. It is not at all serious.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Dealing with Insanity  
**Author: Tsubasa Kya  
_Disclaimer: Sorry, I do not own Inuyasha people. I'm just a fan. _

»IMPORTANT«: Please take note that this is really not at all serious. If you do not like OOCness, character bashing, evil "kukuku" chuckling, more OOCness, character deaths, character weirdness, an author insertion, and many many more fun things that really don't make good writing, well then turn your hiney back around and go the other way. On the other hand, if you like all this stuff previously mentioned, go ahead and read away! No one stopping you but you!

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Chapter one: Cats and Allergies

Gods, I'm so bored. Kagome thought to herself. More used to being busy, she had set up and re-set up her room three times already just to pass the time, but that hadn't really taken very long. Kagome Higurashi was the top troublemaker at all the schools she'd been to, which inevitably led to almost always having something to do, again inevitably leading to boredom being the worst form of torture.

In the schools that she'd gone to, she'd dated casually though never got into very many serious relationships. She'd always known eventually she'd get kicked out and so really didn't bother too much with the courting court. Funny statement, but true. More often than not, she had built her reputation on turning down men, but once in a while she could admit to having found her attention caught—only to be severely disappointed when the guy turned out to be a nit.

Of course, her troublemaking spirit—that seemed such a harsh term… she called it "school" spirit, and a lot of it—had gotten her kicked out of over ten different schools, eventually the last one that would accept her being miles away from any semblance of a home. She guessed the school was more for delinquents, but then why would her father send her twin to the school, she wondered.

Oh, well, she thought. She cast those ideas aside, ready to think about something new. She was presently in her new dorm, in a boarding school way out in the boonies. The middle of nowhere was a fun place to be, she was sure. The dorm was large enough to fit four people. The room had built in dressers, two double stacked bunk beds—which she had rearranged with the help of her funky yet useful 'witch' power—and four desks.

All in all, it was a nice room. The theme for the room was blue. The walls were painted blue, the bed and desks were blue, the chairs were blue, and the mattresses were blue. There were blue curtains dotting the window. She grinned at how out of tune her bed was with the theme color. Army green sheets covered the bed, a camouflage blanket and pillow in place.

Kiyoshi, her fire cat, was lying on Kagome's stomach while she pet his fur, black and red cat hairs shedding onto the green bed to speckle here and there. Personal pets weren't allowed, but she had managed to sneak him in anyway. She wouldn't leave her kitty cat several hundred miles away to be fed bacon and get fat like her younger brother's cat.

Her brother, though he did over feed his cat, was a fun kid at least. He had no problem sneaking out to parties with her, or covering for her when he couldn't make it. She didn't need to tell him twice how boredom killed her. He just knew.

As she listened to her CD player, boredom finally killed her and she fell asleep. Kiyoshi stood and stretched, then walked towards the end of the bed, jumping off. The lack of attention made him decide it was time to walk around, and he did just that.

**-Elsewhere- **

He cocked his head at the cat before him, startled that it would approach him at all. He hated cats. They made him sneeze. Speaking of sneezing… it was coming. "Kachoo!" he groaned, holding the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. A wave of nausea burst straight at him, making him dizzy.

Yes, cats would be the death of him. He just knew it. Either that or the women who owned cats would be. They always wanted him to pet the kitty. "No! I don't want to pet the kitty!" he would tell them, scowling. Yes, their demonic outfit…dangerous creatures, cat lovers were.

He could beg all he wanted and still he would have to touch the kitty. The next day he would have a rash on his hand from his allergies. Yes, he was slightly allergic to the blasted creatures, but did anyone care? Not particularly. Not even the author, who for all her writing him into her stories as a main character still did not like him. Yes, he would have to work on that too.

Playing nice to a seeming god wasn't easy, but oh, he would. Another sneeze wracked his form and made him trip backwards. "Get away, blasted cat!" He told the thing. Its response was to hiss at him, slicing threatening claws at his leg. "Yah!" he yelped, skip-hopping away from the cat, hugging his bags to him. If one of those dangerous hairs…

No, must not think such depressing thoughts, he insisted of himself. Yet, they were there. They were there as much as his brother and friend's laughter was there, mocking and humiliating him, drawing attention to his plight from other students. Again, his dang allergies made him look like a friggen weirdo. But go figure, eh? Life wasn't simple—especially when they were being manipulated by a crazy woman who liked to pretend she was an author.

"Sesshoumaru, you're such a freak!" Inuyasha hollered at him, and despite Sesshoumaru wanted to kick the cat away, he knew he couldn't because the hair would get on his shoe and that shoe would later be touched, thus leading to damage. Laughter followed him as he cleared his face of all emotions, glaring at the cat before walking towards the dorm building.

It sucked being him. It sucked having allergies. It just sucked period. At least he managed to convince his father to pay the extra money to get him a room on his own. He would have a futon and a loft bed instead of four bunk beds, and he would have all that space to himself. The isolation was good, especially with the cat lovers swamping the place.

Not to mention the tiny little fact that he was a _dog_ demon and his natural instinct was to kick a cat anyway. Or eat it. But he had to fight that, or risk his allergies totally hospitalizing him. It sucked. Sucky suck suck! He thought in his head, trying to act calm. His nose was stuffy and red. He just knew it.

He almost felt drunk because of his allergies. But that was just how they affected him.

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**End.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Dealing with Insanity  
**Author: Tsubasa Kya  
_Disclaimer: Sorry, I do not own Inuyasha people. I'm just a fan. _

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Chapter two: Death by Cat

"Oh em gee!" Sesshoumaru squealed, sounding much like a stuffy-nosed pig grunting with his stuffed up sinuses. He looked at the cat that had curled up on his bed and was practically shoving himself into the closet to get away from the hairs that floated his way as the cat's tails swished back and forth tauntingly. The red circles on the twin tails seemed to gleam mockingly at him and the white hairs just continued to float around like they owned the place.

"Inashimasoc coarwe pwo!" Said a girl who, ridiculously enough seemed unable to speak anything but gibberish. Sesshoumaru thought it was a shame, too since she was an okay looking girl. But then he recognized her as one of Inuyasha's friends. What was her name again? Oh yeah, Sango. She was hissing at Sesshoumaru now, as though she was going to scratch him.

He closed the closet on her, locking himself in. Hey, he might no longer be able to get out, but at least he was away from the insane girl and her cat. But it was a magic closet. It teleported him and his bags to a random universe. And that random universe happened to be our favorite Kagome's room. He landed on Kagome's cat and immediately started breaking out in a terrible rash.

"Hey, get off of my cat!" Kagome yelled at him. He couldn't have if he wanted to. Excuse this poor author as she bleeps out many swearwords and random nonsense. "Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep!"

But that still didn't make the author like Sesshoumaru. Yes, he still had to work on that one.

The next morning, Sesshoumaru found that things were not going his way at all and the school year had just started. He had met hell itself when he landed on that cat. He had been beaten up for it too, so on top of nearly suffocating, he was also half dead from a bunch of bruises. Needless to say, he wasn't really happy with the outcome. It wasn't favorable for him. But hey, the author of this here fanfiction is laughing her ass off because she likes the outcome.

If only she could find a reason to dismember him... "No! Don't do that! You don't want to do that!" Sesshoumaru cried out, hiding under the bed. Oh okay, she wouldn't do that... "Thank god!" ...yet. "Damn it!" But it didn't mean she wasn't laughing her ass off at him still. Oh yes, humorous thoughts of torturing that cocky good-for-naught.

Some might wonder just _why_ the author didn't like Sesshoumaru. "I'd like to know!" Sesshoumaru blurted out. "Let me in on the secret, since it _is _my life you're messing with!" Well, it's simple. It's because he's prettier than her. "What? You want to string me up by my innards from your ceiling fan--I read your diary--and it's because I'm good looking?"

No, she had to disagree. He wasn't good looking, he was pretty. Now take a good look at Naraku. _There_ is a good looking man. Sinister and proud of it. Sesshoumaru just wanted to _teach_ his little brother under the pretext of trying to kill him. Not exactly very sinister, is it? Plus, Sesshoumaru wore a furry pelt as a fashion statement. What was up with _that_?

"Well, girls like it." He shrugged. "Got any allergy meds?" No, no she didn't have any...for him anyway. She preferred to let him suffer. Anyway, since there clearly was a fanfiction going on and the author and one of the 'actors' just burst out into random conversation, the author decided to do something drastic to Sesshoumaru for talking to her. She cut off his hair. Short.

And was bothered because he still looked pretty damn good. Darn it. Well, anyway, now with his hair extremely short, like to his earlobes, she grinned and just let him walk back onto the 'video set' and a collective gasp was heard from all the other 'actors' in the particular fanfiction. Kagome, of course, being the troublemaker she naturally is, decided to try to kill Sesshoumaru for the author.

She snuck up behind Sesshoumaru and then... stuffed her cat down the back of his pants. She ran away, cackling like mad because she had done something so evil. "Wahahaha!" Kagome called. "I'm so evil and I know it!"

Naraku, Kagome's current boyfriend at the time of the crime, came to investigate. He was, of course, a cop. He inspected the scene and found the dead Sesshoumaru--killed from overdose of cat allergies--and deduced that it was, "A very evil person who did this." Well, go figure. Kagome was hiding behind Inuyasha in hopes that she might not be seen.

Inuyasha was sobbing since his brother had died. The fact that just in the previous chapter he was laughing at Sesshoumaru and taunting his older brother didn't come into effect. He was still bawling like a school girl and his high pitched voice was getting on Kagome's evil nerves. So she set about plotting Inuyasha's death next.

She went to her evil laboratory, which was of course eighty floors underground and in the depths of hell, and laughed as she made the ultimate plot to kill Inuyasha. Yes, she was so evil. It was crazy!

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**Wahahaha! Craziness equals this fanfiction turning out to be my way of killing all the characters to Inuyasha in the weirdest way possible!**


End file.
